With apologies to Adam Sandler (and for outing anyone)
Conservatism is
The defense of states’ rights,
Instead of one massive federal program,
We want our tax bill to be light!
When you feel like the only kid in town
Who’s in the G-O-P;
Here’s a list of celebrity Neocons,
Just like you and me…
Frasier’s Kelsey Grammar
Is a red-state voter,
So is Paul Sorvino, Pat Sajak
and rich kid Ricky Schroeder.
Guess who supports Bush’s tax cuts
And thinks Code Pink is scary?
Catherine Bell from JAG
And San Francisco’s Dirty Harry!
Tom Selleck is a Conservative,
Heather Locklear is one too,
Put them both together,
And there’s nothing we can’t do!
You don’t need to pay high taxes,
Or turn over your beloved Glock.
You can lobby Congress with
Regis Philbin and The Rock!
[Chorus]
Pull out the superlatives,
Here come the Conservatives
Fiscal plans that’re preserve-ative
When you’re a Conservative!
Hanoi Jane Fonda [not a GOPper]
But guess who is? Easy Rider Dennis Hopper [He converted]
Guess who thinks the Democrats
Take advantage of taxpayers?
Don McLean, Meat Loaf, Bo Derek
And Buffy the Vampire Slayer.
So many Righties are in the show biz
Barbara Streisand isn’t
But I bet her accountant is.
[Chorus]
Pull out the superlatives,
Here come the Conservatives
Fiscal plans that’re preserve-ative
When you’re a Conservative!