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Archive for October, 2007

Democrats Deny Bush’s Charges

Tuesday, October 30th, 2007

Democrats came out fighting today in response to President Bush’s charges that they have “wasted time investigating” and “have never seen a problem they couldn’t solve by raising taxes.”   The President also expressed exasperation over the Democrat tendency to link every conversation to the war in Iraq. “Those are ridiculous and unfair charges,” noted... »

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Posted in Fail, Government, Taxes, U.S., World | No Comments »

Democrats Propose Stupidity Tax

Monday, October 29th, 2007

Unhappy with Charlie “Tax Em” Rangle’s trillion dollar tax increase, some Democrats have been exploring new forms of excise taxes.  One form of tax showing promise is based on intelligence.  “We’re thinking one percentage point for every IQ point below 100,” notes one prominent Democrat who asked to remain anonymous.  The plan would mean that... »

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Posted in Fail, Government, Taxes, U.S. | No Comments »

Boston Wins World Series; Satan Blames Cost of Heating Oil

Monday, October 29th, 2007

With the price of crude oil nearing $90 per barrel, consumers are feeling the pinch.  “I just can’t keep this place warm any longer,” notes B. L. Zabub, managing director of Hades en Perpetuem.  “The Red Sox have won their second World Series since the Curse of the Bambino, George Steinbrenner is asking his... »

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Posted in Media Bias, Sports | No Comments »

Hillary: Zero Terror Attacks Not Good Enough

Tuesday, October 23rd, 2007

Hillary Clinton (D-Your State Here) has admitted that, if elected president, she would “return” some executive authority to Congress.  “I firmly believe that the Democrats in Congress are far better equipped to deal with matters of national security and defense than any president, including myself.” Many Republicans were quick to agree.  “I absolutely think that there... »

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Posted in Legal, Terrorism, U.S. | No Comments »

New Daily Danet Store! – UPDATE

Monday, October 22nd, 2007

  Daily Danet has teamed up with Café Press to bring you (drum roll, please)….MERCHANDISING! Please stop by the store at it’s new address:  Take a look around, buy some early holiday presents, and piss off those liberal neighbors.  Let me know if there are any posts you’d like to see made into... »

Posted in Business, Opinion, Personals | No Comments »

A Little De-Gore ‘Em

Monday, October 22nd, 2007

Wow, the Norwegians really know how to get to irrelevant in a hurry, don’t they?  Giving Al Gore a Nobel peace prize for his “work” in “climatology” is tantamount to giving the Boston Red Sox a Nobel prize in economics for “best groomed team in sports.” Gore’s film, which a British court has ordered... »

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Posted in Global Warming™, Opinion | No Comments »

All the Tea In China Town

Friday, October 19th, 2007

From the “Are You Shitting Me” Category: The LA Times, Hillary Clinton’s California Press Office, with barely a hint of sarcasm or journalistic skepticism, announced that Hillary Clinton as raised nearly $400,000 from impoverished dishwashers in New York’s Chinatown.  This doesn’t even pass the laugh test. You’re talking about people who make less than $30,000 per... »

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Posted in Fail, Media Bias, U.S. | No Comments »

Irrational Exubera-nce

Thursday, October 18th, 2007

Pharmaceutical giant Pfizer (NYSE: PFE) announced a 77% decline in earnings do to the discontinuation of its inhaled-insulin product, Exubera.  In an effort to bolster the company’s stock, Pfizer’s research and development division has announced the start of product trials on several new drugs: Pink Slipitor: A new drug for use by Pfizer employees... »

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Posted in Business, Name Game | No Comments »

Clinton, Another Clinic in Ethics

Monday, October 15th, 2007

Is it just me, or does it seem that every time politicians report their financial numbers, Obama announces a huge, unexpectedly positive number and, in just enough time to cook the books, Clinton announces a slightly larger number.  Why is Clinton always announcing second?  Why and how is she always beating Obama by a... »

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Posted in Opinion, U.S. | No Comments »

Clinton on Domestic Spying

Monday, October 15th, 2007

Democratic presidential hopeful and raging hypocrite Hillary Clinton (D-Mentia) has once again been forced to clarify directly conflicting statements made by her campaign.  Clinton recently remarked that eavesdropping powers should be used only for “limited, critical situations.”  According to a new book, however, Mrs. Clinton herself has used illegally intercepted and recorded cell phone conversations... »

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Posted in Government, U.S. | No Comments »