Article Archive

Broken News

Friday, March 25th

NYTimes shocked, SHOCKED! to find that Muslim Brotherhood taking over in Egypt. Good thing they are secular. The MUSLIM Brotherhood.
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Dem Senator: Some “don’t deserve the freedoms that are in the Constitution!” But decides to give them to us anyway.
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Rahm considers cutting Council seats in half. That sick, violent man! What did those seats ever do?!?
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Wednesday, March 23rd

Obama and Biden vote to impeach Obama over illegal war in Libya. Words matter, champ.
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Tuesday, March 22nd

Al qaeda's best friend: former SEIU executive openly plots to destroy US economy.
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Monday, March 21st

Obama: Qaddafi "needs to go" or he will face the swift fury of ... sanctions and multilateral diplomacy.
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Obama's Inglorious Basterds compromise his own most precious values.
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Obama: US will not stand idly by in the face of actions that undermine global peace and security. Offer not valid in Iran, North Korea, Egypt, Tunisia, Yemen, Bahrain...
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O: US will not stand idly by in the face of actions that undermine global peace and security. I'm off to Brazil.
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Thursday, March 17th

Dems charged with attempting to rig election with faux Tea Party candidate.
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Obama to UN: Hey, let's do something about this Libya thing. Also, did you know German tanks invaded Poland a while back?
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U of Chicago launches casual encounter site. Bad News: Almost all of the people on it go to U of Chicago.
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Wednesday, March 16th

Obama admin: More Japanese should be volunteering for suicide mission to cool reactor core.
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AP compares NFL to slavery. Really? What slave was ever paid $40M to play a game?
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Tuesday, March 15th

"Mr. President, in Japan and Libya, who will be left standing at the end of it all?" "My money's on Duke."
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It's 3:00 am in Tokyo and Tripoli, yet Obama is filling out his NCAA Bracket.
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Monday, March 14th

AFLAC: If you're hurt or miss work due to tsunami, our spokesperson will mock you.
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Friday, March 11th

NH Legislator: "Live Free or Die. First part is now optional."
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GOP should learn to be more civil, like the WI Dems who hurl death threats.
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Obama is against bullies* (* policy not valid in Tunisia, Egypt, Libya or the broader Middle East. Policies and participation may vary.)
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Whine House: WI GOP should learn to come together with Dems. Who are hiding in Illinois.
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Obama idiocy jumps the shark: would rather be president of China.
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Thursday, March 10th

Team Obama: Less world's policeman, more Kitty Genovese neighbor.
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Pimco dumps government securities. Translation: smart people won't loan government money.
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Wednesday, March 9th

Julianne Moore to portray Sarah Palin. Whither Erica Durance?
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Negative Public Relations: NPR CEO Resigns
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Tuesday, March 8th

Serious question: who is more bat sh!t crazy: Gaddafi or Sheen? Too close to call.
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