. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Daily Danet Broken News Ticker  Quote of the Moment: "For every dark night, there's a bright day after that, so no matter how hard it gets keep your head up, stick your chest out and handle it." - Unknown  Click Here for More Broken News  Mormon bishop fatally shot in California. Why is the media not blaming gay rights activists?  Sacred: pertaining to or connected with religion. Moron: See Bill Press.  Obama: I can't spend all my time with my birth certificate plastered on my forehead. Where would I put the Bush Did It sign?  Obama: Hey, you're never gonna believe who is really responsible for my mess.  Matthews and Maddow call a blogger racist for his DC travel advice. Bonus: Blogger is a Dem donor. D'oh!  Letting the Bed Bugs Bite: EPA's senseless ban of DDT now literally a pain in the ass.  Obama: Who's got two thumbs and single handedly saved Iraq? THIS guy!  Obama responds to questions on his faith with whine about birth certificate. Guess we know why he never released it.  Obama to apologize to Iraq for invading; toppling dictatorship and imposing Democracy on those who would rather have oppression.  Beck rally degenerates into riot as screams of "Play Loser!" go unheaded.  Click Here for More Broken News  Quote of the Moment: "He that cannot reason is a fool. He that will not is a bigot. He that dare not is a slave." - Andrew Carnegie  Daily Danet is not suitable for bear attack.  . . . . . . . .

Broken News

Monday, August 30th

Mormon bishop fatally shot in California. Why is the media not blaming gay rights activists?
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Sacred: pertaining to or connected with religion. Moron: See Bill Press.
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Obama: I can't spend all my time with my birth certificate plastered on my forehead. Where would I put the Bush Did It sign?
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Obama: Hey, you're never gonna believe who is really responsible for my mess.
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Matthews and Maddow call a blogger racist for his DC travel advice. Bonus: Blogger is a Dem donor. D'oh!
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Letting the Bed Bugs Bite: EPA's senseless ban of DDT now literally a pain in the ass.
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Obama: Who's got two thumbs and single handedly saved Iraq? THIS guy!
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Obama responds to questions on his faith with whine about birth certificate. Guess we know why he never released it.
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Obama to apologize to Iraq for invading; toppling dictatorship and imposing Democracy on those who would rather have oppression.
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Beck rally degenerates into riot as screams of "Play Loser!" go unheaded.
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More flip flops than Disney World: Charlie Crist was in favor of Charlie Crist before he was against him.
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Google Maps not smarter than a 5th Grader: Who freed the slaves? FDR or Lincoln?
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NYTimes: Golly gee willikers, being President is Hard Work.
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Friday, August 27th

In the Back of the Booty segment tonight: Bill O'Reilly's former job as a porn critic in Boston.
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This is the captain speaking, BRACE FOR IMPACT! J/k Lol!
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David "John" Vitter (R-eally?!?)  pressuring media to shut up about his criminal former aide.
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Robert Reich: Hey let's raise taxes on the rich and cut taxes on the middle class, so 20% pay 99% of taxes.
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America's Team: Spending like drunken sailors on useless trinkets with no result. How 'bout dem Cowboys?
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Man bites dog. NY Giants security to 78 year old Dan Rooney: Get off of our lawn!
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Obama: America is now safer because of the war that made us less safe, which I opposed.
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The dark and seedy underbelly of the NFL: Players selling their numbers, while some welsh on the deal.
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CBS Rallies the Troops: Obama's approval rating is 48%. . .if you assume the Democratic party is as popular as it was in 2008.
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AP: Joe Biden messes with Sheriff Joe. Wait, what?
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Thursday, August 26th

The government can now legally track you with GPS. By bugging your car. Without a warrant. Thanks 9th Circuit!
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Benedict Charlie: A man without party or principles.
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House Dem frags party leader, trying to escape guilt by party affiliation.
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Maddow mocks Christie math error right before she makes the same mistake herself. Too bad nobody saw it.
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Intel CEO: Obama killed the radio star; policies are driving innovation and capital abroad.
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Obama: America is now safer because of the war that made us less safe, which I opposed.

Friday, August 27, 2010
By Dan

Obama: America is now safer because of the war that made us less safe, which I opposed.

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