. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Daily Danet Broken News Ticker  Quote of the Moment: "Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake." - Napoleon Bonaparte  Click Here for More Broken News  Obama: Greedy doctors will amputate rather than treat! Greece: No treatment under public healthcare, amputation is cheaper.  Dems to political donors: Donating to the GOP? Enjoy your complimentary IRS audit and DOJ investigation.  Pop Quiz: Who Said It–Peter Griffin, Homer Simpson Or Joe Biden?  USA Today frets about fewer women in Congress if GOPpers like Sharron Angle and Christine O'Donnel defeat Harry Reid and Ted Kaufman.  Libloggers want IRS to issue itemized receipt. Bring it on, Lefty.  Come see the violence inherent in the system: Idiotic 10:10 video reveals Green anti-human bias.  Don't know much about history: Obama says it took time to free the slaves. Actually, it took the GOP.  Song most likely to make men cry is . . . are you kidding? First, real men don't listen to REM. Second, sure, if you mean "make it stop" crying.  Politics of Fear: Obama admin announces credible but not specific terror threat, 5 weeks ahead of election.  Obama on a mission from God; holds direct, talks with Jesus without preconditions.  Click Here for More Broken News  Quote of the Moment: "The difference between 'involvement' and 'commitment' is like an eggs-and-ham breakfast: the chicken was 'involved' - the pig was 'committed'." - Unknown  Daily Danet is not suitable for bear attack.  . . . . . . . .

Broken News

Monday, October 11th

Obama: Greedy doctors will amputate rather than treat! Greece: No treatment under public healthcare, amputation is cheaper.
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Dems to political donors: Donating to the GOP?  Enjoy your complimentary IRS audit and DOJ investigation.
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Pop Quiz: Who Said It–Peter Griffin, Homer Simpson Or Joe Biden?
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Monday, October 4th

USA Today frets about fewer women in Congress if GOPpers like Sharron Angle and Christine O'Donnel defeat Harry Reid and Ted Kaufman.
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Libloggers want IRS to issue itemized receipt. Bring it on, Lefty.
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Saturday, October 2nd

Come see the violence inherent in the system: Idiotic 10:10 video reveals Green anti-human bias.
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Friday, October 1st

Don't know much about history: Obama says it took time to free the slaves.  Actually, it took the GOP.
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Wednesday, September 29th

Song most likely to make men cry is . . . are you kidding? First, real men don't listen to REM. Second, sure, if you mean "make it stop" crying.
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Politics of Fear: Obama admin announces credible but not specific terror threat, 5 weeks ahead of election.
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Obama on a mission from God; holds direct, talks with Jesus without preconditions.
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Tuesday, September 28th

47 Obstructionist Republicans now cleverly masquerading as Dems and opposing Obama on tax hike.
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Christiane Aman-poor Ratings.
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James Earl Obama: Malaise.
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Monday, September 27th

Two Congressional seats retire from New York, move to Florida, play bridge and eat dinner at 4:00
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Friday, September 24th

Reid literally mails it in at debate, scuffle breaks out between the 80% Angle supporters and 20% union members Reid supporters.
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Conservatives make less money, but give more to charities.
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Washington D.C. overridden by stinky, nasty, life sucking vermin. Also, there is some sort of insect problem.
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Thursday, September 23rd

From the Halls of Montezuma, to the Bever Park petting zoo, we will stone our nation's livestock...
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Obama brings his Hope & Change™ shtick to world despots; heavy on rhetoric, anemic on details.
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Loretta Sanchez: Don't let Vietnamese steal MY house seat.
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Political Jokes: Dems invite Stephen Colbert to testify, in character, on immigration. Next week, Santa Claus on welfare handouts.
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Wednesday, September 22nd

Models show scientific explanation for parting of Red Sea.
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Bob Woodward: McChrystal was right.
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Tuesday, September 21st

Don't know much about history: Obama claims Mexicans were here long before America was even an idea.
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Children of Alaska encouraged to Vote Murkowski.
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Unintended chickens coming home...to roost. Insurers drop child-only policies after Obama mandate. #tcot #tlot
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Reid backhand endorses O'Donnell, calls Gillibrand the hottest member of Senate. Mikulski suddenly chopped liver?
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Quantum Leap: Matthews, possessed by rationality, tells Obama that tax cuts are not government handouts.
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Go [see] Joe!

Monday, August 17, 2009
By Dan

Just caught G.I. Joe.  Great summer flick.  (I know I’m a week late, but I’m a lawyer–I’ve got stuff to do).  Not quite Star Trek-level, but it gives Transformers a run for second place in blockbuster heart pounding manventure of the summer.  Just like Transformers, (and I’m quoting myself here), G.I. Joe wil:

rip through your rib cage, grab your inner caveman and drag your latté drinking, blog reading, aeron chair sitting, metaphor mixing ass through [120] minutes of heart pounding, libido stirring, pride swelling man-venture. If you’re looking for subtlety, read Jane Austen.

The thing I appreciated most about G.I. Joe, after the tight leather bustiers and the phallic weaponry, is the villains.

The thing I appreciated most about G.I. Joe, after the tight leather bustiers and the phallic weaponry, is the villains.  You have Christopher Eccleston’s Scottish arms dealer.  You have “The Doctor,” played by Joseph Gordon-Levitt (3rd Rock from the Sun), who is a sociopath.  And finally Sienna Miller’s Ana Lewis/Baroness. Now these characters don’t really have much of a back story in G.I. Joe lore. Back when the cartoon series was created, bad guys were just bad. This was the 80′s, we had a President who knew evil when he saw it and called it by its name.  This time, it was up to Hollywood (God help us) to give them their motivation.

I would expect Hollywood to create a Destro whose father never hugged him and whose mother never breastfed him; a Cobra Commander who was an orphan raised by a greedy corporate executive as part of a social experiment gone awry.  I was half expecting a live action episode of Robot Chicken, with Destro sobbing into Cobra Commander’s arms “I couldn’t make the swim team daddy!”  [Pounds his metal fists.]  “Use your words, Dethththtro.  Uththe your wordth. Let it out.”  [Gentle rocking, rolls eyes, looks at watch.]

[Spoiler warning] Surprisingly, G.I. Joe finds a way to overcome Hollywood stereotypes.  McCullen/Destro’s motivation is simple and unencumbered by Jungian psychobabble.  He’s a greedy businessman who wants revenge for wrongs against his clan.  True, Hollywood thinks all businessmen are greedy, but McCullen is an arms dealer, and I think even arms dealers would say they have a point there.  As to being evil, greed is a sin, a deadly one at that, so Destro is sorted.  The Doctor/Cobra Commander is a sociopath driven insane by his lust for scientific achievement.  What is wonderful (if that’s the right word for it) about his story, is that he turns evil before his disfiguring accident.  He would be morally redeemable (and therefore more typical of a Hollywood villain) if it was his disfigurement that lead to his evil.

I would expect Hollywood to create a Destro whose father never hugged him and whose mother never breastfed him.

But much of the story centers on Duke and Ana and their mutual history.  Based on the story arc, the Baroness’s back story seems painfully clear, and her real back story is therefore all the more of a–for lack of a better phrase–pleasant surprise.  We are told that Duke and Ana are engaged and Duke promises to protect Ana’s brother Rex as they both deploy in combat.  Rex is killed and Ana and Duke split up as Duke cannot face his broken promise.  We are lead to believe then that Ana is not evil but just misunderstood.  Her grief overwhelmed her, and that’s why she was willing to kill millions of people.  Well, as it turned out, Cobra Commander was brainwashing her.  Fantastic twist that turned an action movie into a love story.

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