Amtrak: Helping You Get Wrecked!
The federal boondoggel of a trainwreck, Amtrak will now offer $100 in free alcohol to overnight passengers using its long-haul service. The move is an attempt to increase market share of a method of travel that became obsolete around the time dinosaurs roamed the Earth.
Several high profile names are in sponsorship and endorsement talks with Amtrak. Among them are Linsday Lohan, Danny DeVito and Paris Hilton. As part of the Defunct Federal Agency Cooperation Project, NASA will also be using Amtrak for it’s astronaut travel plans.