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Sudanese: Prophet Not Snuggly Soft

Monday, December 3, 2007
By Dan

The Sudanese, calling in the name of the peaceful religion of Islam, for the death of a British school teacher who allowed her students to name the class teddy bear Mohammad, were further angered today by a pardon, issued by the President of Sudan.

“Islam is a peaceful religion,” noted one rioter, “but name a small, harmless bear after the Prophet and the only punishment is death.”  Religious scholar and militant anti-infidel  Vikra Zebuggers agrees.  “It is right there in the Koran after ‘Family Fun with Beheadings’,  just before the chapter on flogging rape victims.”

Other rioters were not so deferential.  “Anyone who names a teddy bear Mohammad , or allows school children to name their teddy bear Mohammad,” screamed one rioter, “in the name of the peaceful religion of Allah, should be beheaded.”  A nearby rioter agreed, “even the school children should be beheaded.  In fact,” she added, “I should be beheaded for even hearing about it.”

In pardoning the British schoolteacher, President Omar Hassan al-Bashir noted that “we cannot allow this controversy to distract us from our genocidal plans in Darfur.”

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One Response to “Sudanese: Prophet Not Snuggly Soft”

  1. Ira Leinman

    Naming anything Mohammed is a bad move, outside of boxing (Muhammed Ali). There are no Major League Baseball players named Mohammed, and in the NFL – it’s only this guy Mushlin Mohammed, a less than average receiver.

    However, if you name your kid (or Teddy Bear) Jesus, you have a better chance at pro baseball, as evidenced by the 29 Major Leaguers who have a derivitive of Jesus or are actually named Jesus; most notably Jesus Alou, or players nicknamed as such, like Alex Rodriguez (i.e. “Jesus, I can’t believe he grounded out with a man on 3rd again!”).

    So, it was stupid to name the bear anything but Teddy, and maybe those African Muslims are really just sports fans.


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