Broken News

Friday, August 26th

I'm off to solve our national debt problem.  Be back in 8,000 years.
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CERN discovers more evidence of sun-driven climate change. So much for Huntsman's established science.
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Thursday, August 25th

Huntsman calling Global Warming™ established science is like saying Detroit winning SuperBowl XLVI is "established history."
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Dick Cheney invites all of Washington on a quail hunt.
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Monday, August 22nd

Team Obama: We don't know that Rick Perry isn't a racist.
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Best reason yet to root for Perry: Trial lawyers hate him with the fire of a thousand suns.
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Obama on our non-hostile involvement in Libya: Days not weeks. 160 days, and counting.
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Sunday, August 21st

Rep. Maxine Waters invites Tea Party to her district.
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Saturday, August 20th

Captain Incompetent: You know what this country needs? More regulation to increase the cost of energy. Thanks Obama!
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Friday, August 19th

Afghanistan until Malia can run for Congress (2024): Long. Hard. Slog. 
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Good news: Obama would be a shoo-in for mayor of Martha's Vineyard.
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Obama to farmer: "Me? Regulate? Call the USDA, they'll set you straight." 2 days later, professional reporter is still getting the runaround.
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New Giants stadium now a dog house.  To have enormous yellow bird put on upper deck.
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Obama attacking Perry on jobs is like the Detroit Lions saying the GB Packers need a QB.
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Obama: We need to get Americans back to work.  Now watch this drive.
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Congress: When did you know about Fast and Furious? Holder: Pardon me?
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Thursday, August 18th

Under Obama, illegal immigration no longer illegal. Deportations halted, just like the economy.
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Coburn off his meds; end Medicare and back to paying with chicken and baked goods; claims Obama benefited as a black man from govt programs.
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Captain Pardon Me: Hey, S&P. Nice business ya got dere.  Be a pity if sumptin were to happen to it.
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American doctors always want to cut, cut, cut.  You wait four weeks, it will fall off by itself.
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Michael Vick shows he's the classy kind of guy Philly deserves. What next, dog killer?
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Janine Garofalo is a misogynistic hermaphrodite being paid by Planned Parenthood to espouse an anti-woman agenda.
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Dow down over 500. Maybe Obama will give another speech.
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Christine O’Donnell refuses to answer Piers Morgan’s questions. Maybe he should just hack into her voicemail to find answers.
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Wednesday, August 17th

Obama: What me, regulate? Dismisses farmer's concern.
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If Abercrombie & Fitch says you're too douchebag for them, you might be a grease neck.
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Union thug shoots company owner for not destroying his business by unionizing.
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Cuomo: 9/11 Anniversary should not be about the City of NY, it should be about ME!
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Corrupt mayor vomits, screams and passes out when sentenced. Reader left to guess the party.

Friday, June 24, 2011
By Dan

Convicted corrupt mayor vomits, screams and passes out when sentenced for perjury and bribery.  Readers left to guess the party.

 

Tags: corruption, , , ,

This entry was posted on Friday, June 24th, 2011 at 9:48 am and is filed under Broken News. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed.

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