April 14, 2010
In an effort to alleviate decreasing consumer confidence and skyrocketing food and energy costs, President Obama announced a broad tax relief package today. The plan, which is modeled after President Obama’s anti-foreclosure plan, allows federal judges to reduce the tax burdens of those who cannot afford the fat, bloated government they purchased.
“Just like the economic recovery plan I proposed when running for president,” noted President Obama, “this plan allows for an ex post facto repricing. If a taxpayer is having trouble paying for the enormous bloated bureaucracy they bought when they elected me and my fellow Democrats, they can declare bankruptcy and a federal judge will be empowered to adjust their tax burden.”
Critics of the plan note that it will create what one Senator calls “a reverse ponzi scheme.” At first, the lower middle class will begin to file bankruptcy, “which will increase the burden on those left paying taxes, causing them to file for lower taxes. Eventually, you won’t have anyone left to pay taxes except George Soros, Hillary Clinton and Al Gore.”
President Obama dismissed these claims as unhopeful, saying “I find your lack of hope disturbing.” John Sweeney, the new Secretary of the Treasury, noted that the plan would be “as, if not more successful as the anti-foreclosure rule.” The Treasury department reported that exactly zero home foreclosures have occurred since last month, down from 25 the previous month.
“We have not seen the ‘dramatic’ increase in interest rates predicted by the so called ‘experts,’” noted Secretary Sweeney. The nationwide average interest rate on a 30 year mortgage remains steady at 24%.